June 2013
i was thinking earlier “why isn’t there an adult version of an easy bake oven” but then i realized
there is
it’s just an oven
You know how there’s a theory that no two people see a colour the exact same way.
Does that mean colour is like
a pigment of your imagination.
YOU FUCKING DIDN’T
Everything about Air Bud is unchristian.
aint nothing in the bible says a dog can’t play basketball
Imagine…you’re a scuba diver, swimming at the floor of the ocean in search of lost treasure. You know this is where an ancient pirate ship once sank, and as of yet nobody has pillaged its remains. After a couple minutes of searching the ruined skeleton of the ship, you find it: the massive, iron bound, warped chest! You check for a lock, but there is none. You look for traps, but of course the ocean would have triggered any there or rusted them away. So you try your hand at opening it. No luck. It’s jammed tight, likely due to the warping of the wood and rusting of the hinges. So you put your crowbar you’d brought along jut in case of such an occasion to use. A few whacks and your get to prying at a small opening made by the warping. tug, tug, straaaaaaaiiiiiiin…crack! The chest breaks open, the hinges snapping in half! You eagerly swim over the chest to get a better view…and the last thing you see is a massive, roiling plume of blackness coming right at you.
You blink, swim back a bit, and notice the cloud has stopped moving, and a flittering, tentacled form swimming quickly away. Little did you know, an octopus had emptied the chest of all valuables (now washed all over the ocean) and taken up residence inside. Because octopuses are flippin’ awesome.
I think one of my greatest regrets is the fact that I was 13 once
I want a disney princess with acne. I want a disney princess with scars. I want a princess who’s not size 0 and doesn’t have a thigh gap. A lesbian, a punk, something totally different. Someone we can relate to. I want the next disney princess to be Johnny Depp.
